FAMILY MEANS EVERYTHING

I start out this trip by stopping to see my cousin Maureen. It has been a couple of years since I’ve seen her and it was time. We had an excellent visit but as always time was getting away from us and I was going to be getting into Cody really late. Maureen and I were having such a good time I hated to leave but we promised that we will visit again soon. With goodbyes said I was again on my way to see family in Cody. This trip we spend time at the pumpkin patch, thankfully my great niece and nephew were with us and they safely led us through the corn maze (I wasn’t looking forward to being lost there waiting for someone to come looking for us.) The 15-mile horse ride up Blackwater was a blast but I hadn’t really been on a horse in years and felt it for days afterwards. Bowling with our family is always fun and we once again proved it when we closed down the bowling alley the next night.

Moving on I make a quick stop the see my niece Jennifer, my great nieces, and great-great niece. It has been a couple of years since I have seen them and a first-time meeting Elizabeth, my great-great niece. It was a short but nice visit where we got to catch up on what has been going on in their lives. On to Spearfish where I planned on meeting my friend and former babysitter, Clara Jean Wallington, and while at breakfast I’m surprised by my cousins Don and Eileen Nichols! During our discussions we discover that it has been over 50 years since I’ve seen Clara and almost 40 since I’ve seen Don and Eileen. That is too much time to go between seeing friends and family! Then I go have coffee with my cousin, Joel Nichols, in Sturgis. I have seen Joel probably 6 or 7 years ago but even that is to long between visits. We talk about meeting up in Cody and going on a horse ride in the beautiful mountains around Cody! My body is silently groaning as we discuss riding horses in the mountains, LOL. While we would love to sit and discuss the many great times we had as kids we both have things we need to be doing so we say our goodbyes and promise to keep in touch and begin planning a Cody reunion.  Heading to Rapid City I’m excited to meet up with my niece Echo and her baby (daddy Chauncey is gone hunting so will miss him!) As I’m getting to Rapid, I get a text from Echo that the baby is worn out from the baby shower that they just finished and so she is going to put her down. I’m sad that I am not going to get to see them this trip but that is how it works sometimes. 

I was born in Watertown, South Dakota and go there to visit because I have family there that I don’t get to see very often. It is often quite a busy time filled with familiar faces and sometimes new experiences. This trip I stay with Cousin Barb and we play Scrabble, Dominos, and paint pumpkins. I have lunch with cousins Julie, Annette, Larry, and Sandy. Julie and I go visit Cousin Suzy and her family and wrangle her Fainting Goats. I celebrate my aunt Gertrude’s 97th birthday with cousins Joe, Teri, Joan, Dick, Leah, Dionne, and Barb. There are many more cousins in the area but this trip I missed seeing them.

Barb and I spent a lot of time with Aunt Gert this trip. We looked through family history books and information from family reunions. Family reunions used to be the time to update information on family changes such as births, weddings, moves, and deaths. It seems that not as many attend family reunions now, so those connections have been lost. Maybe those connections can be made through such avenues as Facebook, 23AndMe or Ancestry.com but the personal touch is being lost through those avenues. I met a cousin that way last year, it was fun when I finally got to meet Matt Moore in person last March. Anyway, I digress. Aunt Gert filled us with stories of past reunions, family history, where my great-great grandparents and my great grandparents came from. She kept us in complete awe, thirsting for more. When she finished, she looked at me and asked If I was willing to venture on a quest, trying to find former homes, stores, farms, maybe even find some family along the way. I agreed, hey I’m always up for a challenge!

It looked like the search would start in Iowa. My Great-Great Grandfather was offered a position with the Ackley Christian Reform Church. Many of their friends came with them. Great-Great Grandma and a friend made 20 gallons of donuts to sustain them throughout the trip. 20 gallons! I can’t imagine.  My Great Grandparents settled in Kesley, Iowa, just a short distance away. They opened a store there. The store was in a two-story building, and they lived in the second story. One of their children was the postmistress in Kesley for many years. With this knowledge it looked like the Ackley/Kesley area would be a good area to begin my research in. When I get to Kesley it is a very small town: main street has one bank and one stop sign. I drive through the side streets looking for anything that might have been the former two-story store. I finally pull over and stop in an empty lot. I walk down to the post office, but it is just post boxes. My next option is the bank. The teller asks if she can help, and I explain what I am looking for. She doesn’t know anything about the store or the post office, no Bodes but there is a Randy DeBerg that lives just down the street. My heart speeds up as I thank her for her help and walk down the street. As I walk a million things are going through my mind. Am I just going to walk up to someone’s house? Are they going to talk to me? Are they going to think I’m crazy? Am I really doing this? I’m so excited! How am I related to this Randy? Are we 2nd, 3rd cousins? So many questions then I find myself walking up to the door and the moment is here. Taking a deep breath I knock… ”Come in,” I open the door and walk in. There is a man sitting on the couch reading his bible. Hi, I’m Jeanette DeBerg. “Who’s your father?”  Donald. “Donnie? Donnie?” Yes. And the ice was broken right then! He was up and hugging me. HE KNEW MY DAD! This was such an emotional moment for me when he started talking about spending the summer working with my dad and the rest of his family on the family farm. Randy and my dad were cousins and around the same age. Randy and his wife, Evelyn, showed me around Kesley, where the store and the post office were, where the DeBerg farm was and introduced me to even more cousins. Here’s the thing, both sides of my family (DeBerg and Bode) lived and had businesses in this small town. While the main thing in the area was farming and both families had farms, Bode’s had a general store, DeBerg’s had a gas station, several of the Bodes were ministers, one was a president at a local college, and another was a faculty member at the same college which leads me to my next quest.

Have you ever heard of Grundy College? It was a small religious college affiliated with the Christian Reformed Church Miller and started in 1916 with my Great-Great Grandfather being one of the first Presidents with a Great Grandfather and Great Uncles being faculty. My goal was to research this college and see what I could find. I went to the City Clerk at Grundy Center City Hall to see what they might have. She didn’t think she had anything then remembered she had some books in a filing cabinet. These were an amazing find! One was the first Commencement Issue booklet from the college, the rest were yearbooks. She then gave me the name and phone number of the VP of the Historical Society for Grundy Center. I called and left her a message. I drove around town for a while but knew that since there were no buildings left from the college there really was not anything for me to see. I headed for my next town. That night I received a text from the VP saying that they really didn’t have much on Grundy College, but she would copy and send what she had. The next day she sent a text saying she met with the board and that they had a lot of items in their storage which they were going to bring out setting up a display regarding Grundy College.  She said she would take photos and send to me. This was awesome news. I only wish I had someone there to really enjoy it!

I was on to my next part of the quest which was the house that my great grandparents had retired to in Cedar Falls. I was able to find it quite easily. It has changed a lot since my aunt has last been there plus, they are currently working on it which makes it doubly hard to recognize so when I sent her pictures, she didn’t recognize the house. I think it was disappointing for her that it didn’t look familiar and that made me question if I really had the correct place or not. I have since found a photo of the house and it was the correct place which makes me feel a little better.

Next, I was so excited to catch up with my cousin Carl. He is waaaaaay older than me (7 years!) and I haven’t seen him for at least 45 years. After playing phone tag we finally are face to face! We both agree that we wouldn’t have recognize each other walking down the street. We spent the rest of the night catching up, talking about family, kids, grandkids, jobs, highs, lows and it was wonderful. His wife Maryanna is so nice and is an amazing cook! Her and I spent the next morning just talking. Once again it was hard to leave but I’m running short on time.

Rounding out this family driven quest is a visit with Madison and Mariano, not long lost just been missing them! They moved here so Mariano could go to school. It’s been a great opportunity. It was great to see firsthand that they are both doing well, get my auntie hugs in and spend some time with them.

As you can see none of this could have been done through Facebook, 23AndMe or Ancestry.com. Maybe the groundwork can be done through those channels yes but those connections, those face-to-face connections are important and needed. Although the introvert in me is now screaming for alone or down time I don’t regret this trip and making these connections at all. Matter of fact, I believe that I am stronger for having made each one of these family connections on this trip and for having stretched myself beyond my comfort zone.

“No matter where we each stand, together we can look upon the same sun, the same moon, and the same sky, so we are forever one family.” Adam Stanley